2021 mock draft


				2021 Mock Draft



			August 28, 2021 – Some of you have been doing this for 20 years and still have no idea what you're doing. I can lead a Bum, I mean horse, to water but I can't make it drink. A few simple rules: don't draft QBs facing 20 lawsuits that don't know who they'll be playing for; don't use a first round pick on a player you saw for the first time on a fantasy magazine cover; and do not draft New England Patriots.

	Round 1

Pick	Team	Player	Comment
1	Ladybirds	Christian McCaffrey, RB	2021 was supposed to be so much better than 2020. Nope. Here we are with the Birds still picking first. Same as it ever was.
2	JoeMorrisBavaros	Saquon Barkley, RB	The JmBs warned they'd be too drunk by draft time. The homerism is strong in this one. But also might work.
3	Valyrian Steelers	Dalvin Cook, RB	He just led the 1227s to the championship. A Valyrian ring before the JmBs get one?
4	PlazaPlayas	Derrick Henry, RB	Hmm. The name "Derrick Henry" sounds like a London haberdashery. The Plazas are sold.
5	The F*** Buddy Ryans	Alvin Kamara, RB	Things are already dicey at pick 5. With Crab Legs at QB, Saints are a mystery. High risk, high reward pick.
6	Metrosexuals	Tyreek Hill, WR	Tom Brady would not be a surprise here. Tyreek Hill is too dangerous to pass on.
7	NBTU	Ezekiel Elliott, RB	He's got to be better with Dak back, right? Now NBTUs just need DeAndre to last, since he has a better name.
8	teen stars	Nick Chubb, RB	The Yahoo supercomputer has spoken.
9	Wisey's Bums	Patrick Mahomes, QB	Oh it's the worst place to be in the draft. Who are Aaron Jones, Jonathan Taylor and Antonio Gibson?
10	Cougars	Davante Adams, WR	The Cougs have followed the Aaron Rodgers saga and just know it's going to have a storybook ending.
11	1227	Travis Kelce, TE	The back-to-back champs are beyond contestation. Whoever they draft will be a monster.
12	Haboobs	Aaron Jones, RB	Play it straight with this pick and then come around the turn with a little razzmatazz!

	Round 2

Pick	Team	Player	Comment
1	Haboobs	Calvin Ridley, WR	Have to go WR here since they won't be picking again until midnight. Great if he can stay on the field.
2	1227	Antonio Gibson, RB	The 1227s don't always draft homers, but when they do, they prefer a player that fits a need.
3	Cougars	DeAndre Hopkins, WR	The Cougs don't mean to make the Bums cry by swiping him here, but it sure looks that way.
4	Wisey's Bums	Najee Harris, RB	He might only get 2 yards a carry, but he'll still get to 1,000 yards with how the Steelers will need to run.
5	teen stars	Jonathan Taylor, RB	Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Domo, domo.
6	NBTU	DK Metcalf, WR	They got the Zeke and now they've got the Deke. It's a new era of naming conventions for the NBTUs.
7	Metros	Austin Ekeler, RB	Stefon Diggs is falling down the board faster than Biden's approval rating. Meanwhile, RBs are scarce.
8	The F*** Buddy Ryans	Joe Mixon, RB	No more quality RBs for miles. The Prof has cornered the market in RB futures. Looking good, Billy Ray.
9	PlazaPlayas	Stefon Diggs, WR	If last year was no fluke, this could be the steal of the draft. If he busts, at least the draft guac was good.
10	Valyrian Steelers	George Kittle, TE	Without Jimmy G actively trying to get him killed over the middle, he could be a top 12 player. This is the way.
11	JoeMorrisBavaros	Justin Jefferson, WR	A value pick by the JmBs? Probably unlikely, and they'll reach. But he should go here if still around.
12	Ladybirds	Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB	The Birds have had 3 Jack & Cokes since their last pick. They think they are picking "Maurice Drew-Jones."

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