Pick

Team

Player

Comment

1

The F*** Buddy Ryans

Le'Veon Bell, RB

Shouldn’t the champs have the 12th pick? Holding out just like the Prof is on draft day.

2

1227

Antonio Brown, WR

The 1227s historically avoids drafting Redskins in the first round, so he'll avoid all those Redskins that might have otherwise been taken here.

3

Metrosexuals

Odell Beckham Jr, WR

Hurt ankle? Less scary than cruises in Miami in December, but can't pass him up here.

4

Cougars

David Johnson, RB

He falls to fourth! East coast bias! Fake news! Sad!

5

Wisey's Bums

Julio Jones, WR

What are the Bums doing here with a top 5 pick?! Shocking. They love returning to players that led them to early round playoff losses.

6

PlazaPlayas

LeSean McCoy, RB

Whoever is preranked here goes off the board as the Playas is yelling, "I'm cutting avocados, somebody pause the draft!"*

7

Ladybirds

Jay Ajayi, RB

He knows the Birds philosophy and wrote a chapter of the still incomplete "Ladybirds: Feel Good Story of [fill in year here]."

8

JoeMorrisBavaros

Aaron Rodgers, QB

The JmBs put their money where their mouth is. It's a passing league!

9

Valyrian Steelers

AJ Green, WR

Finally Gurley goes off the board as the Playas is yelling, "I'm cutting avocados, somebody pause the draft!"

10

NBTU

Mike Evans, WR

This guy is a concensus first round pick. I'm not totally sure why, but he's a big white receiver on the Bucs with an accountant's name, so that's a recipe for success.

11

teen stars

Melvin Gordon, RB

It's hard to draft a guy named Melvin. But the autodrafter makes the hard decisions.

12

LOTFW

Devonta Freeman, RB

A dangerous place for a team that actually does research. Good thing for us the LOTs have been in Europe for months following the other football. Freeman will definitely get a lot of goals this year.

Pick

Team

Player

Comment

1

LOTFW

Jordy Nelson, WR

Where's Renaldo? Well, this guy looks like he's a good Nordic soccer player.

2

teen stars

Jordan Howard, RB

Who believes that Howard can put up the same numbers for a worse Bear's team? Autodrafter. That's who.

3

NBTU

DeMarco Murray, RB

LeSean and Le'veon are gone and DeSean is no good. No Le or De for the NBTUs? Oh hey, here's DeMarco!

4

Valyrian Steelers

Lamar Miller, RB

One of the classic blunders. Never get involved in a land war in Asia and never trust a Texans RB.

5

JoeMorrisBavaros

Leonard Fournette, RB

Rookies just don’t go as high as they did when the JJs roamed the league. But this has that certain Tatum Bell feel to it.

6

Ladybirds

Michael Thomas, WR

Since the Birds had this same pick last year, they try to build the same team. This is the new Cooks on N.O.

7

PlazaPlayas

Tom Brady, QB

The Playas reach a bit here, but after hunting down a mouse in last year's draft, they're feeling lucky.

8

Wisey's Bums

Ezekiel Elliott, RB

Domestic violence? Check. DUI? Check. Suspension? Check. Welcome to the Bums.

9

Cougars

Dez Bryant, WR

While Elliott is suspended for 6 weeks, somebody has to do the scoring.

10

Metrosexuals

Rob Gronkowski, TE

If Gronk plays all season, he's a top 10 pick. If he gets hurt, he worth a fourth round pick. So this is about in the middle.

11

1227

Amari Cooper, WR

The 1227s are so boring. It's like watching the Patriots draft. I guess that's how you become the leader in 100-point games.

12

The F*** Buddy Ryans

TY Hilton,WR

Autodrafter! The champs are inexperienced with setting up the pre-draft rankings and TY Hilton is taken two rounds too early.