2010 Season Preview

Tony Dungy was not available to lend his all-encompassing expertise for this season's preview. While he does know everything and is more than willing to tell anyone and everyone what he thinks on anything, we had to rely on the standard source of this year's preview; the Commish! This season, the league breaks up into three distinct categories; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The Good are good, the Ugly are Ugly, and the Bad are either Bad in the traditional sense or Bad in the Michael Jackson sense -- which would mean pretty good (at least good enough to make the playoffs).

1. 1227

Last Season: 7-6 (largely due to an injured Michael Turner) and lost in first round of playoffs to the Cougars; were predicted to finish 2nd.

This Season: Turner hosed the 1227s last season, so who do they take in the first round this season? That's right. Nonetheless, at this point, you cannot doubt the 1227s -- they've only missed the playoffs once in the last eight seasons. Flacco in the sixth round and Shiancoe in the 10th show the 1227s' knack for bringing in underrated players.

2. Georgetown Hos

Last Season: 5-8 and missed the playoffs; were predicted to finish 4th.

This Season: Despite phoning in picks from the road and autodrafting Ronnie Brown, the Hos probably have the most well-rounded line-up at each position. The only weakness was that the LenDale White choice was too transparent as a smokescreen to the rest of the League and not an actual pick. The objective of such trickery, though, is not yet known.

3. Cougars

Last Season: 6-7 (somehow had a losing record despite having Chris Johnson) and in the Final Four to the FBRs; were predicted to finish 3rd.

This Season: The Cougs really shouldn't be this good every season since they won they whole thing in their first season.The law of averages has them destined for a non-playoff finish. Despite many teams thinking that their draft was a McCluster, it actually will keep them in the top quarter of the League for the whole season. There are real concerns over the lack of a real RB on the team, but Roddy White is determined to get a team back to the Buddy Bowl that will actually play him.

4. LOTFW

Last Season: 5-8 (blame Jay Cutler) and missed playoffs; were predicted to finish 8th.

This Season: We keep waiting on the LOTs. Despite being a founding member of the League, they still have not won a playoff game. It's becoming like Waiting for Godot; will we know when the LOTs finally show up? What will they look like? Are they just a figment of our collective imagination? They have no real QBs on the roster, but will eventually have three starting RBs on their roster -- a premium in this day and age.

5. Raiders of JJ

Last Season: 6-7 and lost in first round of playoffs to the Bums (for the third time in history); were predicted to finish 10th.

This Season: The JJs haven't finished this high since 2004. Why now? For one, they had JaMarcus "Purple Drank" Russell helping them draft. They have largely abandoned their fultile philosophy of chasing rookies and have started drafting like a team that wants to win. The JJs have some holes, but as long as they don't go chasing too many players that have never played an NFL snap, they should win half their games.

6. Metrosexuals

Last Season: 4-9 (largely due to the benching of Marques Colston because although he’s a top 10 WR in the NFL, he’s bench material on the Metros) and missed the playoffs for the third season in the last four; were predicted to finish 11th.

This Season: To have the Metros this high, you know they must have had a killer draft. And indeed, they may have actually had the best draft in the league. But know this! The franchise has made it a priority to let the team go to hell after the draft. Why should this season be different? It's already in motion with the dropping of Chester Taylor to pick up Sammy Morris. Classic Metros.

7. NBTU

Last Season: 6-7 (the AZ QB who shall not be named can be blamed) and lost in first round of playoffs to the Ladybirds; were predicted to finish 5th.

This Season: The NBTUs had the number one pick and took the obvious number one, Chris Johnson. He couldn't get the Cougars to the Buddy Bowl, but that's why former NBTU players are on the roster. DeeeSean and LeeeSean, and Heath, and Jacoby and Kevin Faulk and Todd Trash Heap have all been on the NBTUs over the last two years, so they all know the system. Unfortunately, they aren't all at the top of the fantasy football food chain.

8. teen stars

Last Season: 6-7 (despite again having one of the lowest scoring teams) and lost in first round of playoffs to the FBRs; were predicted to finish 9th.

This Season: The teen stars' draft looks like it puts them in the running for a playoff spot. However, in their case, it means scoring less than 80 points per game. The franchise has made a tradition of getting into the playoffs despite scoring fewer points than non-playoff teams, which is why they are projected for the 8th, and final playoff spot. It must be noted that they have no Redskins on the roster currently. Maybe they should trade Andre Johnson to the Bums for Clinton Portis.

9. Ladybirds

Last Season: 10-3 (largely due to a miraculous Farvesaurus resurgence) and won Buddy Bowl VIII; were predicted to finish 6th

This Season: If you care for a laugh, take a look at all the players that the Birds took Kicker Garrett Hartley in front of. Yes, this is your reigning world champ. The Birds, per the usual, have one of the most ugly drafts that anyone has ever seen. This is an annual occurrence, but the Birds have maintained their place atop the League elite teams. This year may be different, though. Brady has already has a Tiger Woodsesque car wreck and they took T.O. thinking that he wouldnt' turn into a train wreck this year. Time to miss the playoffs.

10. The F*** Buddy Ryans

Last Season: 11-2 (the year of Brees) and lost in Buddy Bowl VIII – I wonder if he remembers; were predicted to finish 7th.

This Season: The consensus among league sources is that the FBRs had one of the best drafts. Unfortunately, there is grave concern that the FBRs will take at least one season to work through the psychological damage inflicted by the loss in the championship game. While the FBRs thought they could overcome this memory by drafting the ancient Favresaurus, the Birds have put a curse/hex on the FBRs for doing so. If the Prof's team does end up finishing out of the playoffs, the Curse of Favresaurus will be in effect.

11. Wisey’s Bums

Last Season: 8-5 (the success is boring at this point) and lost in the Final Four to the Ladybirds; were predicted to finish 1st.

This Season: The Bums have little to no chemistry this season. It is no secret that they didn't want to draft Adrian Peterson and have been trying to move him since before the draft even took place. They still have Fitz and the 49ers Defense, but the team still seems lacking in Cards and 49ers. More important than all of this is that the Bums have avoided the statistical eventuality that they will miss the playoffs. This will likley be the season where Bums luck runs out.

12. JoeMorrisBavaros

Last Season: 4-9 (largely due to the entire organization) and missed the playoffs again; were predicted to finish 12th (Hey, I got one right!).

This Season: Speaking of statistical eventualities, how can the JMBs continue to miss the playoffs? The JMBs, as an organization, have given no indication that they plan on making the playoffs in any given season. By harboring the insolence of Vincent Jackson, the franchise only solidifies its statistics-defying stay in the bottom of the league. Could this be the season they finally win 5 games? Maybe. Will they make the playoffs? Would Oprah Winfrey turn down a ham and cheese sandwich? No and no.